End Week Four

...well, that's the end of the first month on the programme. I weighed in this morning and recorded a loss of 1.2kg, bringing my current weight to 75.2kg. It's very slightly irritating in that I was really hoping to get under seventy-five before the end of this week as that would take me out of the "obese" category on my Wii, but the fact that I got that much...is fantastic.

Overall, I just need to be more positive. The end of the second week was completely insane for me, as this programme generally has people losing an average of eight to ten kilograms their first month, and I've not quite managed five. I think I need to remember that I actually lost four or five kilograms before I even started, and my body's been doing some odd things because of it. I'm not sure what I was at my heaviest, but my Wii records it as just under eighty-six kilograms, so this? Is amazing. I need to really realise that, I think, but between the responses I've had on this blog and at the local forums, it's becoming so much easier to just calm down and run with it.

Yesterday, being Saturday, was my shopping day -- and already I am beginning to enjoy it a lot more than I ever have. It's also a stat holiday weekend, meaning: sales! I got vouchers from three of the four places I hit up with my credit card, and am particularly looking forward to spending my $50 Max voucher when I drop another size. But I was at Max for more workclothes; I got a kimono-styled blouse, a groovy skirt, and another pair of tights as the ones I bought last week already are too big. Awesome. I've also officially dropped a size in my favourite jeans; I bought the old pair before Mexico and they fit perfectly. Now I have a size down and they fit perfectly. I have the feeling I'm going to buy a pair every time I drop. It's kind of wasteful, I guess, but it's a strange little way of reminding myself of how far I've come.

I also bought myself a tangible reminder. I wanted a ring, but I bought a butterfly pendant instead. I rarely buy jewellery for myself, at least not expensive jewellery, because I don't think I'm worth it. Well, here I am, thinking I'm worth it. I chose it because it's beautiful, but also because I am tired of the cocoon of fat I've been living in all these years. It's time to grow my wings. It's time to get out. It's time to fly. And like the touchstone of my emerging collarbones, I now have a little butterfly at the base of my throat to remind me of what I am doing, and why. It's for me. Nothing more, and certainly never ever nothing less.