Against The Rain

More than anything, I suppose this is just an entry to say that I am still alive, still dieting, and still going up and down like the proverbial yo-yo. NaNoWriMo is now over, so that's one less stressor, but it's also a loss of a distraction. I've been so hungry this week, it's quite bizarre. It's of course that Time of the Month, although...I don't know. I'm desperate to get into the sixties, and it's tantalisingly close. I think this morning I was about 70.5kg, so...yeah. Not that I would usually weigh during the week, but I was being naughty. My weight was about 71.5kg a couple hours ago, but I only know that because I was stressing over the weight of a box and that was the handiest way to check. Huh.

But yeah, Christmas is coming, and with it the usual downpour of sweet things. I've already decided to break on Christmas Day, but otherwise? I am going to be saying no to any and all offerings of seasonal joy in edible form. It already seems to be pissing off at least one person at work, who got very snotty today. We were planning Secret Santa, and I said: "Look, much as I'd appreciate the thought, any food I'm given? Will be eaten by my brother." It wasn't as if I was being snarky when I said it, nor is it that no-one I work with isn't aware already that I am on a very restrictive diet. But yeah, one person was being quite vocal about how it's "all for fun" and we should "like what we get" so...I don't know. But my brother's always hungry anyway, so there's that.

Otherwise, I wore a medium dress to work today; bright red for the first day of December, and a couple of my workmates were saying that if I lost much more weight, there'd be nothing left of me. Which is a bit hilarious, as I still have twenty kilograms to go. My mother was also chatting to me on the phone and asked me what I wanted for Christmas; she said "There are a lot of pretty things here, but I have no idea what size you are now." "Oh, twelve." "Twelve?" Then she asked how much I'd lost, I replied only ten kilograms, and got "Only?" back. Huh. But yeah, to be honest, I am baffled by my drop from an eighteen to a twelve while only losing ten kilograms in between. Weird, if you ask me, but I guess from here on in the size drop will be less rapid?

I am looking forward to getting my jeans back from being altered on Friday, though. I bought some size twelves in my favourite style on Saturday in what I thought was advance of need, knowing that I would need the legs shortened and that it takes the dry cleaner four days to do it, but...they fit already. And my size fourteen ones are bothering me right now because they're too loose around even my monster ass, so...go figure? I just wish the actual weight wasn't being so slow about shifting, as it's going to take at least three or four months longer than I'd thought. And already the lack of chocolate is driving me to distraction, although that could just be Christmas. Seriously, I bought a box of Favourites for packing with my parcels in the weekend and I could have murdered one of those baby Moro bars. Fortunately I didn't, but...yeah. Temptation sucks.

Right now, though, I best go do some writing, have a shower, and then read some Japanese before bed. I'll still be hungry, but at least I won't be able to dwell on it...