Sunday, October 10, 2010
All in all, not a good day.
Basically, I've been holding out for today. After my freakout on Tuesday I sternly told myself that there was to be no more weighing until Sunday, by which point things were more likely to have averaged out and be a more accurate representation of what was going on. So, I did not weigh until this morning. And this morning I got up, weighed, and...nothing. Absolutely nothing. Meaning that after week two, I've gained two hundred grams. And any measurement loss is negliglible, as in about two centimetres and that's probably just because I'm shite at measuring. So...I don't know what to make of this. I really don't. I'm humiliated to admit I was practically in tears last night because there were fish and chips, cakes, pies and bread all over the bench as I tried to make my chicken and salad, and my apple tasted awful, and now...I didn't deviate all week. Despite there being food everywhere for three days out of five, I didn't goddamn deviate. But if this is my reward, it makes me wish I had.
I just haven't got a clue how I am going to get through another week like this. I haven't got willpower. I haven't got stamina. I'm just tired. And sad. So very, very sad.