Thursday, October 21, 2010
I seem to have developed something of a touchstone, or a lucky charm when it comes to my weightloss. As anyone who has lost weight can tell you, as the kilograms start to come off you start discovering things about your body that you'd forgotten or else simply never noticed before. When I first moved to England a few years back, I lost a few kilograms through stress and depression (I have no idea even now how much; I gained it all back, but that was back in the days when I was in complete denial about my weight problem anyway). During that time I found my hipbones again. Just...yeah. This time around my hipbones haven't really made an appearance yet -- though they are coming -- but I have been distracted by my emerging collar bones.
They're certainly not prominent. I doubt anyone can see them but me. But...I keep finding that during the day, I will rub the tips of the three fingers of my left hand over my right collarbone. I'm not sure why. It's not like it's really obvious or anything. But it just...feels different. More real. Less hazy. It really is like a touchstone, something to remind myself that yes the weight is coming off, that no it isn't my imagination. Because I often look in the mirror in the morning and think "You haven't lost anything at all, you liar." Even though my clothes say otherwise. So...yes. It's an odd little feeling, but not an unpleasant one. It's like the return journey of an old friend, who is sending letters on a regular basis to say "Here I am! I am coming! I will be with you again soon!"
...yeah, so, I'm cracking up on this diet. How are you? <g>